When I was in shul yesterday, we blessed the new month. After I finished davening, I began reflecting on the past month and thinking about my goals for the next one. Mostly, I thanked G-d for the good things which had happened to me last month, but I was very aware that it hadn’t all been good.
The recent months have been tough. And as I sat there, dwelling and thinking and comparing and wishing, I realised a dhange had come over me. Every month, after we blessed the new month and I davened silently, I begged G-d for an easier month. A better month. A month with less sorrow and conflict and pain and anguish.
Thus momth, I begged Him for the strength to handle all of these things instead.
It was as I sat and reflected that I realised G-d wanted me to make positive changes. Just because He was capable of miracles beyond imagination, that didn’t mean I could simply ask him. If I wanted a month free of the sorrow evict had invaded the last few, it was down to me. And by asking Him to help me change my attitude, rather than my circumstances, I feel I acknowledged that. I accepted it. I declared I was ready to move on.
Let’s see what the next month holds.