I’ve never been good at remembering to say brochos. Memorising them was difficult, and saying them in front of people who are non observant or non Jewish has caused me endless embarrassment. I’ve made excuses for this terrible habit for long enough, until I realised that these excuses probably mean little or nothing to Hashem. He has blessed me with so many wonderful things. Is it really so hard to thank Him for them?
And so, I began a very practical journey to a very spiritual and beautiful mitzvah. Reading about the importance of brochos wasn’t doing much. So I decided I had to start by learning them and buying the necessary materials. Chizuk could come later. Only I found it didn’t need to. Once I knew what to say, if came naturally. And this, in itself, was chizuk. Today, I bought a siddur with the text of Birkas Hamazon, because I realised it was missing from my repertoire. Rather than just waiting, I went out and fixed the problem. And this makes me immensely proud.
There are still some things about the frum lifestyle which I haven’t yet conquered. But this journey gives me hope for everything else to come.