I’m really devoted to Chabad. I love and follow the Rebbe zt”l and I’m endlessly inspired by Chabad literature, thought and philosophy. I love kiruv and everyone I’ve met has been really wonderful to me. Going to my Chabad House is definitely the highlight of my week, so don’t think that I am considering leaving Chabad. On the contrary, I am counting down the hours until Shabbos so that I can see my Chabad accquaintances again. However, recently, I’ve begun to explore Breslov thought. It’s interesting. It’s unique. And I think I could definitely incorporate it into my worldview.
Would I be living a double life? I don’t know. I’m not willing to leave Chabad for anything, but I don’t think that exploring Breslov Chassidism would harm my neshama and Yiddishkeit. Quite the opposite. Above all, I just want to learn. I fear a closed mind more than anything, and although I am scared of exploration, I understand it’s the best way to learn. And if Breslov thought teaches me something, and broadens my mind, I’m willing to give it a try.